goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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