at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You're like the curious george of whores
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize