I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
