Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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