I can tuck mytits in my pants
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
