I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
