the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
