Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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