That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
