OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
