census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
