Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
