rhymes with "ouble enetration"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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