Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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