It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
even my farts smell like vagina
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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