does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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