She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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