Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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