you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
so much tequila, so little girl.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
