what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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