what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
