You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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