If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
