I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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