my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize