Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
