South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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