i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
