your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
