it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
