walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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