You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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