problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
