I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
