Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
