Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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