just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize