2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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