Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
