love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
