she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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