her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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