What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
