I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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