Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
