i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
