Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
