hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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