it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
