I should be sponsored by Trojan
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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