I think I died a long time ago.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
