just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
