love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I showed him my bush... on skype.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
