Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
