Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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