Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
