so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
