Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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