spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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