Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
