While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
