She announced her abortion via fbk
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
